


You! Me! Dancing!

by Hotinthemilkyway



Category: Trailer Park Boys
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, I'm Bad At Tagging, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29714964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotinthemilkyway/pseuds/Hotinthemilkyway
Summary: Julian finds Ricky high on bug spray again and it leads to some pretty serious conversations.Trailer park boys jail season.
Relationships: Julian/Ricky (Trailer Park Boys)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	You! Me! Dancing!

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the new trailer park boys jail season but I'll give a quick summary of info you need to know incase you haven't been able to watch it but still want to read this!
> 
> -Terry is Ricky's cellmate.  
> -Julian has a single cell.  
> -They can't get alcohol or weed into the prison and they're STRUGGLING.  
> \- Julian drinks the cologne Aqua Velva instead of rum.  
> \- Terry and Ricky start smoking bug spray and it messes them up s o m u c h. If you haven't watched it you might think I'm over exaggerating high Ricky but nope
> 
> And that's all you have to know really!
> 
> I pumped this out in one night and I've done 0 proofreading so sorry about that! + I haven't written in about 2 years, but hey it was fun to do lol
> 
> Also just warning you, I don't know anything about solvents or what smoking bugspray would do to you for a comedown (can you even smoke it??? probably not) and in my frenzy to get this done I didn't research it at all so you get this!! I hope its still enjoyable though!

Julian leans back against the wall, staring at his empty glass while trying to block out the chattering inmates. He tilts his head back slightly, staring up at the shitty fluorescent lights before letting his eyes half shut. For a second he escapes the jail.

Then Ricky tears through the silence with a manic scream and a chaotic stumble.

"Jesus fucking christ, Rick." Julian could smell the burnt bug spray from across the room.

He weaves through the other inmates, pushing through the forming crowd until he finally reaches Ricky, who was reaching for a dumbbell with jittering hands. He was frantic, eyes darting and jaw grinding between grunts.

"Hey now buddy, come on" Julian gently touched the other man's arm, preparing to take the dumbbell from him.

Ricky screamed, jolting away and throwing the dumbbell to the ground.

"Ricky, please."

Ricky began to sink to the floor and Julian wrapped his arms around him, attempting to restrain him though Ricky wiggled away and sank back to the floor.

Then there was a horrible thud as a grunting Ricky struck his head against the barbell, over and over again.

There was blood on the floor.

"Rick!" Julian yelled as he heaved Ricky up away from the dumbbell, losing his balance in the process and causing the pair to stumble backwards.

And at that moment, Ricky sprinted away screaming before Julian even had a chance to sit up.

Cussing, Julian glances down to the blood, up to the crowd, and runs after him.

At the end of the hallway, Julian hears a scream and follows it, bursting into the bathroom. He runs past the stalls, scanning each one for Ricky and sprinting so fast that he almost runs into the wall as he reaches the last stall.

Ricky is sat on the floor, gripping his head in both hands. The man rocks back and forth, jaw gurning and eyes clenched shut.

"Thank fuck." Julian breathes a sigh of relief and crouches down to Ricky's level, grabbing Ricky's head. "let me check that."

At first, Ricky doesn't seem to register what's happening, giving Julian just enough time to see it's not too deep, then he explodes.

"Ricky! Jesus!"

Ricky has grabbed onto Julian's shoulders and is shaking him with all his force, screaming with each move.

"Let me go, man! Fuck!“ he shouts, but Ricky just won't let go. Finally, he snaps and throws Ricky off him, leaving his back to fall against the wall.

The drugged man doesn't even react.

“Why would you even do this!” Julian yelled, gripping his arm tightly. "You promised you would fucking stop with this bug spray shit- You fucking promised! This is insane!”

Then they finally make eye contact and Ricky looks so small, so vulnerable. Julian feels sick.

He slowly shuffles closer to him, careful to not make any sudden moves. "I'm so fucking scared, Rick." he mumbles, slowly resting his forehead on Ricky's shoulder. "I've never seen you this bad... I just don't know what to do."

He keeps his head there while an hour passed by, the pair slowly calming down, though Ricky was still clearly in another dimension.

"Let's get you back to my cell, buddy." Julian sighs, pulling his head away.

Ricky responds by continuing to grind his teeth with a blank face.

Carefully, Julian grabbed Ricky's arm and guided him up, doing his best to keep him steady. Together, they slowly hobbled to the main room where Julian spotted Terry.

“Hey, how's he doing now Julian?” Terry laughs and Julian clenches his fist tighter around his empty glass. “He might have overdone it a wee bit.”

"Because you're the one that got him goddamn doing it." Julian clenches his teeth. "I'm going to fucking kill you for this Terry, I'm gonna fucking do it." He takes a step forward, ready to attack, then Ricky stumbles and Julian is instantly at his side. He returns his grip on the man and they hobble away, with Julian flipping Terry off as he ignores Terry's cries of “Hey man it wasn't my fault!” behind him.

"What a fucking dick" Julian grumbled as he heaves Ricky onto his bed, ignoring the high man's protest groans and pulling the covers over him.

He sinks to the floor as soon as he's done, resting his back against the bed frame and trying to ignore the overwhelming concern growing inside of him.

Dinner time arrives and with a bit of bribery, gets a guards permission for Ricky to stay in his cell and manages to bring Ricky back some food- though he won't even look at it.

Instead, Julian takes a few sheets of his good toilet paper and cleans Ricky's head as good as he can, hoping the alcohol in his Aqua Velva shit will sterilize it good enough.

Once he's done, Julian downs the rest.

At some point, Ricky falls asleep but Julian sits up, anxiously staring at his dark cell wall until he hears a noise from the bed behind him.

“Fuck... What time is it?” Ricky's voice is hoarse.

“Finally, you can talk." He says, but he's filled with relief. Julian shuffles around so he's facing the bed, looking up at Ricky.“I was starting to get scared there was brain damage or something."

It wasn't a lie, the idea that this time Ricky could permanently mess something up there and never be himself again had haunted him.

Through the darkness he could make out Ricky gripping his forehead, biting down on his lip. “What even happened? I don't remember a fucking thing.” He tries to sit up but sways. Julian reaches up to guide him back down. “God, I feel like shit.”

“Not surprised, man. You must have smoked a shit ton of bug spray.” Julian keeps his hand gently wrapped around Ricky's arm. “I've never seen you like that, it was fucking scary.”

“Fuck.” Ricky whispers and rolls over.

Silence falls between them, Ricky's face hidden as he stares at the wall.

“I feel like I'm dying.”

“You're not, Rick. You're going to be fine.” H _e hoped._ Julian squeezes Ricky's arm before noticing the way his shoulders started to move in the darkness.

“Shit, Ricky. Are you... _Crying?_ ”

“I can't take this! Fuck!” Ricky croaks out between sobs.

“Hey shush, shush.” Immediately, Julian sits on the bed besides Ricky and attempts to soothe him. “You're just having the shittiest comedown ever. I'm not surprised.”

“Well, I wish it would fucking stop!” He snapped.

“Be quiet Rick, you're gonna wake everyone up!" Julian snapped back.

Instantly Ricky crumbled. “I'm sorry Julian...” He said, sniffling.

“It's okay man don't be all apologetic and shit," Julian mumbled, leaning down and giving him a quick hug. He didn't know how to treat Ricky like this. “Try and sleep it off, okay bud?”

Ricky rolled onto his back and looked up at Julian, nodding softly. “Thank you, Jules.”

“Don't mention it.” Julian patted the man's shoulder and watched him close his eyes, slowly drifting away.

Before he knew it, sleep began to sweep over him too and he felt himself do the same against the cell wall.

Julian woke to the sensation of the shifting beneath him. Groaning, he opened his eyes slowly. It was still dark in the cell and he'd shifted in the night, ending up in a crumpled ball on his bed.

“Hey.”

Julian looks to his right to see Ricky sat up, eating the food he'd brought in earlier.

“Hey,” Julian rubbed his eyes. “You feeling any better?”

“Yeah,” Ricky spoke between mouthfuls “A lot, thanks, Julian.” He grabbed a forkful and waved it at the other man. “Want some?”

Truthfully, Julian did. It had been one fucking exhausting day. Though one look at Ricky's sickly face convinced him to decline.

“Nah I'm good man. Finish it yourself.”

“Suit yourself.” Ricky shrugged and ate the forkful, before eating the rest in silence.

He abandoned the tray on the bed when done and Julian reached over and moved it to the desk.

Julian let's out a sigh. “That was fucked.”

“Huh?”

“The buy spray. It was fucking scary Rick”

“I know I got a bit fucked but it can't have been that bad, right?”

Julian felt his mouth drop open and it took everything in his power to not shout out. “Not that bad!?” he gasped. “Ricky what about your head? The sobbing? Do you really not remember anything?”

Ricky reached up and felt the tissue paper stuck to his head with dried blood. “Huh. I guess you're right Julian. I only remember bits and bitses.”

“Pieces, Rick. Bits and pieces.”

“Sure, whatever you say.”

Julian frowned. “Well, I was really worried about you, man.” He said, looking away. “You need to stop or you're going to end up dead in here. That shit isn't good for you.”

Ricky shuffled. “Well I know that but... I just need to get high, I can't fucking cope in here with no dope. And if there's no dope I have to use that! I don't have a choice.”

“So you're choosing fucking dying over a little bit of time of off dope?”

“Well I'm not dead yet, am I?” Ricky snapped

“Well, you might be soon!” _Fuck, that was too loud._ He exhaled slowly. “You don't know all the toxins in that shit, Ricky. With dope it's fine, it's safe and we know it. But that shit is fucking poison! You don't know what you're doing with it, man.” Julian held Ricky's shoulder. “You've already had a heart attack before, Rick. Don't do this.”

“Jules I-”

“Even if the shit itself doesn't kill you, the way you act on it man? I keep fucking expecting to find you drowned in a toilet bowl or something. You act fucking crazy." He paused. “I fucking love you Rick and I'm worried.”

Ricky looks stunned, staring at Julian with eyes wide before dropping them to the floor.“Shit, I- I'm sorry Julian. Didn't realize it bothered you this much.”

“Of course it does." Julian mumbled, rubbing his eyes and falling backwards so he was lying down on the bed. He let out a dry laugh. “Fuck, I think we have a problem.”

“Yeah we have a problem, we can't get any dope or booze!”

“No, Ricky, I mean-” Julian rubbed his arm. “The fact that we can't go even a few days without drugs and drink and shit before I start drinking Aqua Velvet and you start smoking goddamn bug spray. It's fucked.”

“Wait Julian, hold up... Aqua Velvet? That blue shit!?” He laughs, taken aback. “Don't tell me you're drinking it— like a fucking hobo!”

“Yeah, yeah. You were the one running around fucked up on bug spray a few hours ago and sniffing markers 24/7. Like you can talk.” Julian rolled his eyes.

“Yeah but you're drinking fucking cologne and you're acting like I'm the only one a mess!”

“'Least I'm not groaning, whacking my head on random shit like you!”

“Still fucked, though.”

Julian smiles sadly. “Yeah, it is.”

Rucky looked down at Julian. “No fucking way I'm giving up dope and booze though Jules.” he said, fiddling with the toilet paper stuck to his head.

“I'm not saying that, man, come on.” Julian paused. “Just, I don't know… This isn't normal, is it?”

“Fuck normal. If it's fun who gives a shit?”

“But feeling like this right now isn't fun, is it?”

Ricky looked away. “Well yeah but... That's why we just keep drinking and keep smoking. If we don't stop we don't have to deal with this!”

“But it isn't always our choice, is it Rick?” Julian propped himself up on his elbows, looking up at Ricky. “This shit right now isn't our choice but it's happening! It won't always go our fucking way!”

“But we're fucking fine Julian!”

“I just don't want to feel like... This anymore!” Julian snapped, moving his arms and falling back down to the mattress. “I don't want to see you kill yourself the second we don't have dope.”

Ricky was silent for a moment before the mattress shifted and he lied down next to Julian. “Okay.” he said softly.

“Okay?” Julian whispered back.

“Yeah, you're right.” He nodded gently. “I'll cut back a bit.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Ricky paused. “Only if you do too, though. I'm not doing that shit alone.”

Julian smiled softly, relief washing over him. “Of course, Rick.”

The pair just lead there for a moment, calm and silent.

“You have to stop spending so much time with Terry, too.”

“What? Why?” Ricky raises an eyebrow.

“He's the reason you're even trying this shit, man. He's a fuckhead.”

Ricky rolled his eyes and smirked. “Look at you getting all jealous, Jules.”

Julian's brow furrows. “I'm not jealous Ricky, fuck off! He's just a dick.”

“Sure, whatever you say.” Ricky grinned.

“Rick-”

“But yeah, yeah. I get it.” Ricky rubbed his beard. “I guess without him I wouldn't be doing all this... Weird shit so I guess I... Relatively see where you're coming from. I guess. So okay.” He rolled onto his side, facing Julian. “I'll hang out with him a bit less.”

“Thank you, man.” Julian smiled softly, looking into Ricky's eyes. “Let me check your head again?”

“Sure thing.”

Julian shuffled closer to him and placed one hand on Ricky's head for balance, while the other pulled off the dried up tissue. “Gross.” He mumbled, leaning over Ricky to throw the tissue into the trash bin and grab a new one from his desk.

“How's it looking? I can't feels it much.” Ricky asked as Julian sank back into the mattress and resumed his inspection.

It was hard for Julian to make out in the lighting, but it seemed like it was starting to scab. “Seems good, man. Will probably heal over in a few days.”

“Right on.” Ricky smiled, gazing at Julian.

“Stop staring at me, Ricky. It's weird.” His eyes moved down to meet Ricky's as he cleaned up the last of the dried blood.

“Why?” Ricky smirked. “What's wrong with that?”

“It's off-putting, I'm trying to clean this.” Julian grumbled.

“Alright, sounds like you're the one being fucking weird, though.” He teased with a playful grin.

Julian rolled his eyes and threw the other tissue into the trash bin before settling back down.

“Seriously though, Jules.” Ricky says once Julian is fully settled. “You are a good fucking friend. Like, a really good friend.”

Julian smiled fondly. “Love you, man.”

“Love you too, Jules. But seriously- Fucking looking after me and shit... You're a real good guy.”

Julian's heart pounded in his chest. “You're a pain in the ass- But I guess it's worth it.” He teased, trying to look less affected than he was. “Sometimes, at least.”

“You know-” Ricky looked thoughtful. “-Even if Charlene is using me for money like you keep saying, and I know she's not but anyway-” He reaches over and touches the other man's arm. “-I don't think I really need a girlfriend if I have you, Jules.”

A strangled noise escapes Julian.

“What?” Ricky looks lost at his reaction.

“Nothing.” Julian fights to regain his composure. “Don't worry about it. Thank you, Rick. That means a lot.”

“No, what. Tell me. Did I say something stupid or some shit? Why are you acting so weird?”

“Well, it just... Kind of...” Unable to find the right words, Julian shuffles around awkwardly. “It just sounded kinda gay, that's all. Don't worry.”

“Oh shit, Jules I've been meaning to talk to you about that-”

Julian freezes.

“So I've been thinking, and I think I might actually be gay.”

If Julian had his drink he would have spat it onto Ricky's face in shock. Instead, he stays frozen, feeling the gears in his head process the words until he responds with. “But... Weren't you just talking about that girl? ”

“Charlene?”

Julian nodded, gripping the sheets below him.

“Yeah well... I mean... I dunno if gays the right word for it.” Ricky scratched his head. “Like how Randy is, I guess. But without the Lahey shit, just other dudes.”

“So... You like both?” Julian asked, grip tightening.

“Yeah, I guess.” Ricky looks at Julian quizzically. “You alright there, Jules?” His expression shifts into a panicked one. “Fuck you're not gonna freak out about it are you? Shit, I can-”

“Stop.” Julian puts his hand on Ricky's shoulder. “No, Fuck no. I'm happy for you, Rick. Thank you for telling me, man. I just-”

Julian's head is spinning. Different emotions fly at him, stealing his breath and leaving his hands shaking.

On one hand, he has a _chance_ with Ricky- The person he cared about more than anyone else in this whole goddamn world. The person he'd spent countless hours punishing himself for liking.

He knew he could finally reveal that huge part of himself that seemed to hang over every little thing he did, and that Ricky wouldn't care because Ricky just casually admitted to the same fucking thing!

But at the same time, putting it into words was petrifying. Those countless hours he'd spent pushing it away had impacted Julian more than he could ever describe, and he didn't know if he could let it out. If he said it, it was real.

God, he wishes he had more Aqua velva. no, fuck that- a whole bottle of rum wouldn't even do the trick right now.

Then Julian meets Ricky's eyes, filled with confusion and concern, and Julian melts.

Fuck it.

“Me too.” Julian watches Ricky's eyes widen. “But not like Randy. I think I'm just Gay, Rick.”

Ricky stays frozen for a second, before bursting into laughter. “Jesus, we're both fucking gay. What are the chances.” He said between chuckles. “I didn't expect that.”

The tension drops and Julian finds himself joining in. He doesn't think he's ever felt more grateful to hear Ricky laugh in his life.

“What about Candy, then? And that police chick?” Ricky says as his laughter dies down, wiping a tear away.

“Dunno, it just never felt right, you known?” He shrugs his shoulders. “More like I was... Acting. Or something. I don't know.”

“Makes sense.” Ricky nodded. “Honestly I only really know I'm this way because, well... I had a massive fucking crush on you a while ago. ”

Once again, a strangled sound escaped Julian. _No way this was happening_ “Well- I, uh- Had one on you too. A while ago.”

The pair awkwardly laugh, but then their eyes meet and realization starts to hit them.

The stare between them feels intense.

“It's a shame we missed each other then, huh?” Ricky's laughter sounded forced. “Let go-gones be go-gones.”

“Yeah.” Julian does the same. “A real shame.”

The laughter trails away and silence replaces it. Julian suddenly becomes conscious of the fact that he's squashed in a tiny bed with Ricky, doing nothing but looking at him.

“Well, hypothermetically...” Ricky was suddenly so much closer. “What would you think if I, maybe, kissed you sometime?” he whispered.

“I guess I'd be okay with that.” Julian whispers back with a gentle smile.

Then Ricky slowly moves his palms to the sides of Julian's face and kisses him.

He tastes like bug spray, and sweat, a tiny bit like blood but it's _Ricky._

And Julian thinks it's the best kiss of his life.

They pull apart slowly, savouring the moment.

Ricky was the first to speak, a fond smile plastered his face. “I might have lied about it being in the past. ”

“Shut the fuck up, Ricky. I have been in love with you since we were goddamn kids.”

Ricky's smile widens. “Well, I wish I had known! We could have been doing this shit years ago!”

“God, we're both idiots.” The pair start laughing again, softly this time. Julian rests his forehead against Ricky's.

“You finally know what it feels like to be me then, Jules.”

Julian shook his head teasingly and let his eyes flutter shut for a second, before opening them back up and locking gazes with Ricky. “So fuck that scamming chick, man. Be with me?”

“Of fucking course,” Ricky said, before kissing him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Lads, we rockin with projecting our own internalised homophobia and experiences with our sexuality onto Julian??? 🤔
> 
> I binged watched the jail season a few nights ago and I'm not sure how I feel about it overall tbh, but it had some good Ricky Julian moments that inspired this!
> 
> Again sorry for any mistakes or bad wording!! I'm dyslexic and I wrote this half asleep on my phone lol.
> 
> I really struggled with the first half of this tbh and I'm still not happy with how it came out, but I'm decently happy with the second half! 
> 
> Title is from You! Me! Dancing! By Los Campesinos. Not relevant but it was stuck in my head when I posted this lol. Very good song though. 
> 
> Thank you sm for reading!!


End file.
